Recently in Reflections Category

I'm drafting this message in flight on American 384, non-stop service from DFW to JFK, on my way for my Papal weekend. This morning was the public Mass at National's Stadium in Washington, DC, yesterday included a ceremony at the White House (complete with the Battle Hymn of the Republic and Happy Birthday for the pontiff's 81st birthday) and a celebration of Vespers (Evening Prayer) with all of the bishops of the United States (last I heard, not one sent their regrents).

Last night, I was interviewed by KEYE CBS 42 for a set of pieces they're putting together about the Papal visit; the first one with me was aired last night at 10 pm. I've seen myself in HD—somewhat scary, but I digress. In that interview, I mentioned that one of the aspects of Pope Benedict that makes him unique is his status as Pope of the Internet.

Pope John Paul II, of happy memory, was considered the Pope of TV. Anyone who saw any images—stills or video—were inspired by him. Whether it was the picture of him standing in front of a teepee in Native American-styled vestments or with sunglasses on or holding his cane upside down acting like it was a hockey stick, you felt a connection to him. He wrote many profound things, and by all means, they should be read and examined. His Theology of the Body and texts examining the role of Mary were groundbreaking in many ways, but he is remembered by the way he captured people.

Pope Benedict XVI is different. He's cute and hearing him with his German accent is great, but he is much more reserved than John Paul II. I can't imagine Pope Benedict ever using his cane as a hockey stick, for example. His gifts, however, lie with the written word. You may hear, or not, the Pope speak, but you want to go online and download the text. His gift isn't in the presentation of Truth, but in his explanation of the Truth. By training, he is a teacher, serving as a professor in Germany before being called up to the Major Leagues (in reverent terms, the fullness of priesthood as a bishop and then to Rome to serve in the Curia) and his natural gift for teaching is obvious.

He teaches when he speaks—from his weekly General Audiences to his Apostolic Exhortation on the Eucharist to the Moto Proprio allowing for the more widespread use of the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite to, of course, his encyclicals, God is Love and Saved by Hope. Now three years after he was called to the Chair of Peter, Pope Benedict still has more people attend his General Audiences than our rock star John Paul II did. Why? Because they learn from this teacher. This is not to say anything negative about John Paul II, not at all, but only that the timid, quiet German who many consider quite dry has a mystical attraction that people are drawn toward through his catechesis.

The Internet is Pope Benedict XVI's biggest aid in his efforts. In the days after any text of his is released, people from around the world are reading it, discussing it, sharing it, wrestling with it and ultimately, finding a greater understanding of the Catholic faith.

I haven't had the chance to read the full-text yet, but apparently, what he had to say to the United States' bishops last night is worth the read.

The greatest good is God: Boethius learned and now teaches us not to succumb to fatalism, which extinguishes hope. He teaches us that fate does [not] govern our lives -- Providence does and Providence has a face. You can speak to Providence because Providence is God.

1500 years after they lived and died, these two witnesses are still guiding us to Christ.

[I think I found a typo in the translation. The English translation from the Vatican does not include the "not" above; I don't believe it makes sense without it.]

At 7:15 am, I will be running 15km as part of the marathon training program that I'm in. In February, I will be running in the AT&T Austin Marathon and since I've had never ran more than three miles in my life, I started training.

As I type, the last thing I want to do is wake up and be running at 7:15 am. I'm going to do it, because I know that if I don't, I am only hurting myself in light of my long term goal—running a marathon. Prayer, in many cases, is the same way. When I wake in the morning, many days I simply do not want to take the time to pray. During the day, I often avoid daily Mass because I just don't want to. At night, I think about Evening or Night Prayer but more often than not it seems, I opt to go to sleep instead.

Aren't we just hurting ourselves, in light of our long term goal of eternal salvation, when we fail to pray? Whether it be in times of good health and happiness or when we're sure that everyone and everything is out to get us, shouldn't we pray? Prayer is training for the marathon of heaven. How can we be prepared to be in the total presence of God if we can't spend a few moments alone with Him?

And so, we should pray. Liturgy of the Hours, the Rosary, a simple Our Father, silence, free-flowing thoughts. Whatever the form, whatever the time, the important part is to actually do it.

Today, it has been ten years since my dad passed away. Perhaps because I've been so incredibly busy during the past few weeks, I haven't really thought about it much. While in school, I would have too much time to think about it and would end up taking an academic dive this time of year.

I suppose one benefit of working more hours than you can count is you know that you still have to deliver your deliverables. In academics, you're only hurting yourself if you don't do something. In the real world, a lot of other people depend on your work to do their work—it is easier to keep focus.

In other news, my mom is having some medical work today. Your prayers are appreciated.

This is the second in a multi-part series sharing some aspects of a retreat I made last weekend.

I am a child of the information age. I can hardly remember a time without having a computer at home. I've had a website since 1996 (wow, eleven years!) and now, working primarily with university students, I'm used to conducting most of my affairs via the Internet. Not only that, but with the instant back-and-forth, I'm used to conducting most of my affairs quickly via the Internet.

Montserrat doesn't quite work like that.

Since Camp Bapchule was canceled out from under us and suddenly I had this week free, I selected this past weekend for the retreat. There is no way to register for a retreat via their website and so I sent them an e-mail. Days passed. I thought, I should call. I did. Their voicemail system does not make it easy to figure out who you need.

"For a priest, press 1. For a staff member, press 2." Figuring the priests were not in charge of reservations, I pressed 2. "For Greg, press 1. For Luz, press 2. For so-and-son, press 3." I have no idea who to talk to (Greg would work, for future reference). I press 0 attempting to go to a receptionist.

"The operator is not available. You will be disconnected. Goodbye."

Well, okay. I wait and an e-mail finally arrives. After a couple of exchanges, which did go faster than the initial inquiry, I was in business and registered. A confirmation letter was in the mail.

The confirmation letter never arrived, but I figure I wouldn't let that stop me. I drove up to Dallas on Friday after a half-day of work. Upon my arrival, four hours later, it is obvious that somehow my reservation never quite made it in the system. Luckily, they had an extra room, but talk about a close encounter (I suggest sending something via snail mail or perhaps fax. That might be more reliable).

So far, that was my only expectation and it was met. From my uber-efficient technological background, I had the feeling something was amiss with my registration. Beyond that, I had never read about silent retreats or what they are like. I had no idea what to expect.

The retreat center is on lakefront property facing a small inlet of Lake Lewisville, just north of Dallas in a small suburb known as "Lake Dallas". Off of a two-lane road and probably half a mile from the turn, you'll see Montserrat. A 12-foot tall statue of the Sacred Heart greets visitors with their new Jesuit Spirituality Center under construction behind it. To your right, you'll see the oldest remaining structure, St. Joseph Hall. St. Joseph Hall, containing some office space and a majority of retreatant rooms, forms the close side of a quadrangle that includes Advent Hall (another dorm building), St. Ignatius Chapel, Assumption Hall (library, offices and Jesuit living quarters) and the dining hall. Beyond the quadrangle is a wide open area all the way until the lake. White chairs dot the property along with little swings, a dock and some tall birdhouses.

After we settled in, we met at an optional session led by Fr. Joe, the director of the center, introducing us to the idea of a silent retreat. This particular retreat was led by Rev. Mr. Jose Fetzer, S.J.—the "Rev. Mr." is a fancy way of saying he is a transitional deacon that will be ordained a priest sometime in the near future.

While the "standard" form of a silent retreat includes one-on-one spiritual conferences, due to numbers, this retreat includes all of the retreatants gathering together multiple times a day, in silence, to listen to a conference given by Deacon Jose. These conferences were much like an extended homily on a particular subject, complete with notes. The conferences were offered as a "buffet"—a number of choices laid out before us. Individually, we can take what we will from the buffet and use it in our reflections.

The part of a silent retreat that concerned me the most would be the silence. Honestly, when was the last time did I shut off my phone for the entire weekend, much less not speak all weekend? I truly don't know if this has happened before in my life!

Lucky for me, so I thought, the retreat only would last just under 48 hours.

Over the next few days, I hope to share some aspects of a retreat I made last weekend. This first part looks at my decision to attend the retreat.

For some time now, I've been thinking to myself, "Self—you need to go on a retreat. You need to do something for your spiritual life." This was true.

While yes, I work at a church 40+ hours a week and I have the Blessed Sacrament mere feet from my workspace, this does not automatically equal a perfect spiritual life. While volunteering at a church may (and should) be a spiritually-rewarding activity, working for a church, at times, becomes work in the stereotypical way. "Man, I have to get up and go to work. I just want to go back to bed." or "Ugh, it is 3 pm. Why can't the day just end?!" That's no way to think about church! However, when you're always at church, it comes with the territory.

Over the two years I've worked at the University Catholic Center, I've transitioned myself from being a student-staff member to now, just a staff member. In other words, I used to "work" some events and participate, as a student, in others. I let Catholic campus ministry do its job on me as it should a student. Over the past six months, while this transition was at the forefront of my mind, I began to participate less and work more.

It is completely expected and normal. I was in my fifth year of studies as an undergraduate at The University and I was already working full-time, whether or not that is how my position was "advertised". As young freshmen walk in the door, I was constantly reminded that I'm that "old guy" that everyone knows as being around forever. As a staff member, however, the dynamic is different. I'm able to engage in ministry in new and profound ways as I'm able to relate to the students on a quasi-peer level while also being able to challenge them in ways that a peer usually can't do. While a student, it was important to be friends with everyone. As a staff member, I'm still friends with everyone, but that isn't the chief concern and a status that comes after working with them, ministering with them and helping them realize their potential as leaders and ministers in the Church.

Long story short, I stopped actively seeking the fulfillment of my spiritual needs. Over the last few months, I've toyed with the idea of going on various retreats, participating in various programs geared toward my location on this spiritual journey and the overall need to engage my own quest for God.

Through all of the options (and there are many!), I discerned to attend a silent retreat, in the Ignatian model of the Spiritual Exercises, at the Montserrat Jesuit Retreat House located north of Dallas on Lake Lewisville. In fairness to all of the other options, I had visited Montserrat last month when I went with Vanessa to a speaking engagement she had hosted at the retreat center and we learned of an open couples-friendly retreat. So far, most of the retreat I had researched were single-sex, so an option that allowed us both to go was appealing.

As fate had it, Vanessa's cousin (and now her Goddaughter) was going to be baptized the same weekend so she flew out to join her family and I made the drive to Dallas.

I think some of the questions were unfair or misleading, but I can't argue with the results! ;-)

You scored as Roman Catholic, You are Roman Catholic. Church tradition and ecclesial authority are hugely important, and the most important part of worship for you is mass. As the Mother of God, Mary is important in your theology, and as the communion of saints includes the living and the dead, you can also ask the saints to intercede for you. Roman Catholic 100% Neo orthodox 79% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 68% Emergent/Postmodern 64% Classical Liberal 46% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 29% Reformed Evangelical 21% Fundamentalist 7% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

In today's Washington Post, there is an interesting article about the sociological impact of marriage. Contrary to modern thought, marriage tends to isolate a couple from the community leaving the couple less likely to be involved with community affairs. The article by Shankar Vedantam refers to a study by sociologists Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian.

According to the article, the honeymoon is a recent invention- only in existence since 19th century. Married people are less likely than single or divorced people to live with, visit, call or write to reletives. Hetrosexual men, apparently, are the worst offenders, relying on their wives to maintain contact with his own family. Personally, my aunts control social community of the dad's side of my family, so my experience corresponds with the study.

I think there is something to be said of a moral leader standing up and acknowledging that morality flows through all different aspects of life, "sacred" or "secular". The way many people in our society treat undocumented immigrants would lead outside observers to question their human dignity.

The United States, for better or worse and with no moral judgment, requires the services of many many many more immigrants than our officials will document. In other words, many sectors of our economy require undocumented individuals to successfully provide the rest of our society with the benefits of being part of this society- everything from migrant farming to construction. How many individuals should the United States grant legal immigration status every year? That's not up to the Church. The Church, however, is obligated to help the other sectors of society realize that as it stands now, we depend on undocumented workers and to shun them with the lack of respect and dignity that many people give, is a moral issue that cries out for a solution.

In other places in the U.S., people are calling for limits on services to American citizens born to undocumented individuals. American citizens trying to limit services to other American citizens who only "crime" is being born to the wrong person? Where does this stop?

Why does this immigration exist? Does the US have a blame in it? Without writing my own white paper, we are members of a global economy and if the economic conditions in one's home country is dire enough where they risk a journey with a failure rate of 90%, we probably had some impact in creating the situation. A vocal amount of our fellow citizens are outraged at this idea, and if society fails to understand the proper responsibility of its economic policies, it again falls to a moral leader to attempt to make the situation known.

As we just finished our Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Day celebrations (or at least for those of us who didn't have them postponed due to weather), we should remember that the civil rights struggle became a movement after a Christian minister stood up as a moral leader and said something needed to change.

In the past, I have celebrated MLK Day by, well, doing much of nothing. Since I've started college, classes have started on the Tuesday following so I had no homework to catch up. Nothing at the UCC really picked up yet, so nothing was the agenda of the day.

However, as I listen to Busted Halo Podcast Episode 10 from last year, they replayed a long section of Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's famous "I Have A Dream" speech. His words are still very powerful. His dream called for a day that we all, black and white, Catholic and Protestant, Jew and Gentile, can hold hands as brothers and sisters. This is a day that we have yet to see. Through my relationship with the Paulist Fathers, I feel a call to assist in interfaith dialogue and ecumenism (read: Christian unity), which is a part of Dr. King's dream.

For me, I intend on listening to his speech on this day to be reminded for the reason I could sleep in today, to recall how far we, as a society, have advanced and to be motivated to transform society to the true vision of his dream. The central aspect of his vision, which is a reflection on God's vision of humanity in his kingdom, is that we are all sons and daughters of God. We all have a certain and special dignity as human beings that cannot be removed from us. It does not matter our skin color, our sexual orientation, our faith tradition (or lack thereof), our intelligence level, our physical abilities, whether we are just a little zygote- the fused sperm and egg that results from conception- or aged beyond all "functionality". We all have gifts to share, but even if we didn't, we are still called to be in solidarity with one another.

Do you have to agree with every person? Or even like everyone? Do we have to best friends with everyone? No, no and no. We are not called to agree with everyone, but we are called to respect every person in spite of our disagreement. We may disagree but I do not look down upon you, or think less of you because of what makes us different.

From this holiday forward, I hope to see this day as a day of reflection on the mission and vision of which we all are vital partners in making a reality.

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. *We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only."* We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of
Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!