Making Ends Meet

Making Ends Meet

As my extended social network learns that I’m staying at home with the girls, I’ve been increasingly asked for advice on how to make it work financially.

There is no one-size fits all approach to this issue or else, I believe, more people would stay at home with their kids. The easy answer would be to have a spouse that makes plenty of money, but our society isn’t setup like that anymore for most people.

We had a nice financial setup before having kids. We both worked non-profit jobs, so we weren’t filthy rich, but we (looking back on it) had few expenses. When Olivia was born, Vanessa was making a few thousand more than I was making and Vanessa was going to stay at home. Instantly we took a 50%+ paycut. Read More

Quote of the Century

Tonight while Olivia, age 2, was drinking her milk after dinner.
Olivia: Is this almond vanilla milk?
Me: Yeah, almond vanilla. It’s your milk.
Olivia: It’s yo’ momma’s milk! Oooooh snap!

She leaned back and put her hand to her mouth during the “Oooooh snap”. Perfect delivery. I don’t say anything like that often, very rarely actually, but she picked it up and delivered.

10,000 Days

10,000 Days

Today is a red-letter day. Yes, it is the 176th anniversary of our Independence, but more relevant and important, today is my 10,000th day of life.

A bit more arbitrary than a birthday, sure, but a milestone nonetheless. I remember watching a movie when I was around 11 years old about how your 10th birthday is a big deal since it’s when you “add a digit” to your age. We’re in double-digits for a long time, so the 10th is a big milestone too.

10,000 is even more so! I’m haven’t added a digit to my days of life count since I was Olivia’s age (her 1,000th day is coming up in May on my Mom’s birthday) and won’t add another one until the USS Enterprise is responding to a distress call from Vulcan (in the new timeline for you Trekkies).

While about 6,500 of my first 10,000 days were spent at home preparing for the roughly 22,500 days of adult life, I’ve had 3, 500 days to get this far in life. I’ve wasted plenty of those days. What will I be able to do with the next 10,000 if I’m purposeful with them?

Now, I will go, purposefully, and keep pushing forward on getting a client site built.

What's your 10,000th day of life without some fun wordart?

Have You Cheated Yet?

Have You Cheated Yet?

[My latest post on Austin Catholic New Media.]

Alright folks. One week down. How is everyone doing? Been perfect so far?

I admit, I already had a Lenten slip-up. This year, for better or worse, I didn’t mention what I was offering up for Lent on my personal site. In retrospect, I usually fail at it, which not only means I’m unintentionally bragging about what I’m doing, I’m being hypocritical too. That being said, we are a communal faith and we have each other to help us remember God’s grace when we are tempted or fail to live up to our standards.

In that light, let’s check-in with each other.

Read More

The Challenge: Why Men Hate Going to Church

The Challenge: Why Men Hate Going to Church

I have a confession to make about Friday’s post.

I had just finished reading Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow. In his recent second edition, he postulates that the reason the gender gap is increasing in many Christian denominations is that many churches are overly feminized. Yes, the vast majority of pastors in Christian churches (and all ordained ministers in Catholic churches) are men, but the participants and those involved in lay leadership are majority women across the American Christian fold. Further, the lack of male participants will result in the death of a church, citing statistics that the higher the gender gap, the quicker a church’s attendance declines.

I found his book extremely interesting. Murrow connects today’s praise and worship music and the phrasing of having a “relationship” with Jesus Christ as one “male repellant”. His reasoning: What man wants to have a “relationship” with another man? Do men talk like that to each other? Did Jesus talk like that to his own Apostles? While we are called to an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, can’t we find a different way to phrase it, at least some of the time? The book has many examples and his reasoning for how they came about.

He cites that, while we shouldn’t go fire and brimstone exclusively, much of our discussion of Christ is based on Jesus the Lamb while viewing Jesus the Lion (e.g. throwing out moneychangers in the temple) as the anomaly of Christ. Murrow’s claim is that Jesus was “a lion” as much, if not more, than he acted as a “lamb” and that the overall Christian church has decreased that message to, for some, a footnote.

Murrow’s solution isn’t to make churches a den of masculinity, but to reduce the “repellent” aspects some and increase opportunities for men to feel useful. Men like to work with their hands and do stuff. For many churches, the only ministry some men feel useful is the usher or parking lot attendant. (I’m not saying women don’t like to work with their hands. I’m not trying to make any inference about how women feel included in the church community; just my thoughts on getting men more active.)

This book was written for the broader Christian church, so many aspects of it aren’t applicable across the board. From the Catholic position, many of his points about worship services simply don’t apply to Mass or, if they do, aren’t things we’ll change as they’ve been like that for hundreds of years if not thousands. Nevertheless, many of his points do make sense to me and could be applied to the Catholic practice in some way.

As I mentioned in the comments of Friday’s post about chicken broth, sometimes being Catholic is a bit too easy. When looking at the guidelines of excluding meat on Fridays (and Ash Wednesday), if the sacrifice is easy, what’s the point? Yes, there is something to be said to be reminded of the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, but as a penance, is it effective? Read More

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