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Parental Review

Friday was Catalina’s first birthday! In our household, you’re a baby until your 1st birthday, then a “little toddler” until your 2nd birthday, then a “big toddler”. Olivia is excited about Catalina becoming a little toddler.

A Cake with Happy Birthday Candles

photocredit: flickr/spool32

Last night, I asked Olivia what was the best part of Catalina becoming a little toddler. She replied “I teach her things.” What things? “How to get up and walk around!” I guess she’s been saving that up until she felt Catalina was worthy of such an honor as walking. Continue Reading…

Order For A Moment

Sometimes we just have to create order out of the chaos, if it is minor and seemingly meaningless.

If you know me personally, you know there is much physical chaos to my environments. I like the idea of organization, but I miss the boat when it is time to execute. Being married to Vanessa has helped with execution, but I still need to take a timeout once a week when I realize that my desk became a mental distraction.

photocredit: flickr/CarbonNYC

Olivia is putting away her toys and books each night more and more often, but not yet every night. When I put them away, I become very anal. The train cars must be “parked” in the parking spaces on the city playmat. Each toy veggie must be reassembled and go back to the grocery bag to which they belong. This bin is for wooden building blocks. This one is for the plastic blocks. The boxes slide onto the shelves like this, not like that. Until very recently, each night, I would reassemble and correctly order this alphabet puzzle that has a letter on one puzzle piece and a picture of an item of that letter on another. Continue Reading…

Sleep Training: Part 239

Trying to continue sleep train Olivia. We’ll letting her cry it out a bit…
Olivia: Daddy! Come rock me! It’s my favorite!

During a conversation concerning having both girls cry it out at night
Vanessa: There will be yelling in the House of Kraft tonight.

Sleep has been a constant struggle with Olivia. We were those parents that simply couldn’t understand how any type of “cry it out” method was humane. She was just 8 pounds of joy…how could we just let her cry? Her first three months of life, she would not sleep without being held and we were too wimpy to let her cry herself to sleep ever.

We were zombies for a long time.

photocredit: flickr/xlibber

While it had overall improved for both girls, they took a few steps back recently. Catalina shouldn’t still eat at night. Olivia went from not waking up most nights to waking up more times than I have fingers. We would rock her for a minute and put her back down. When she occasionally woke up once a night, that was fine. When it is 10 times, it is just stupid.  Continue Reading…

Who Is Your Daddy and What Does He Do?

I’m approaching six months as a stay-at-home dad. I haven’t fully accepted the title yet. When someone asks me “what do I do?”, I hesitate. Sometimes I say, “Primarily, I’m at home with the girls, but I’ve been doing some freelance developing websites.” Or “I’m working with folks on their web presence, which is great since it allows me to be at home with the girls.” Or “I’m a stay-at-home-dad, [pause], but I’m developing my web services business too.” Sometimes, when I assume the person won’t quite understand, I skip the at-home-dad part and just tell them about the freelancing.

While stereotyping isn’t what it was years ago, there is still the expectation that women can stay home with the kids if she chooses to, but men don’t. There is a massive shift of your self-image in a change like this. “What do you do for a living?” is one of the first question someone asks when you meet for the first time and one that others use to figure out an image of you in their minds.

What do they think of me? Do they think I’m a guy who couldn’t bring home the bacon? Do they think I wear a frilly apron all day? Am I just a lazy bum (although, if you’ve been/are a stay-at-home parent, you know that couldn’t be the case)? What would Det. John Kimble think?

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop (photocredit: Imagine Entertainment)

Continue Reading…

Servant Leadership Begins at Home

This site’s theme for 2012 (and beyond?) is Servant Leadership Begins at Home.

photocredit: flickr/lovestruck94

Servant Leadership, as a term, is most connected to the work of Robert Greenleaf, beginning with his book Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. The underlying idea is that the most effective form of leadership is in the form is service. True leaders do not rule with iron fists, but serve their community (organization, business, whatever social arrangement).

Christians have the prime example of a servant leader in Jesus Christ, but this concept is not exclusively Christian. The Laozi from  ca. 5th century BC China (thank you History of Asian Cultures course) speaks of leadership in a similar vein. Indian, Islamic and other ancient writings, religious and secular, promote servant leadership.

While at the University Catholic Center, our team introduced this philosophy to student leaders and developed their skills toward leading through service. Within ministry or the non-profit world, this model is obvious. While not as obviously applicable to businesses, research is clear that companies based on servant leadership are successful.

What about at home? From my Catholic perspective, the way spouses should treat one another and parents must lead a home from a servant’s perspective. How can the concept of servant leadership, as a formal leadership model, be applied to home life? What best practices exist that help to realize this “leadership structure” within the most basic unit of society?

Being a father is to lead the house. Mothers lead too, but there are plenty of “mommy blogs” out there that speak to the trials, tribulations, best practices and philosophies of motherhood. Fatherhood isn’t as explored online and, being a dad, I can only speak personally to the masculine aspect of domestic leadership.

Over the coming months, I hope you will join me as we explore leadership, fatherhood, rearing kids, spirituality and more.

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