Someone Going To Emergency

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As a freelancer, one of the most stressful parts of the job is the lack of a safety net. When life happens, there is no one else in the office to take on a little more work to keep projects flowing through the pipeline. Support requests are delayed. Deadlines are impacted.

This weekend, the biggest unexpected incident in our little family happened.

Olivia, our oldest who is three, had been coughing at bedtime for a couple of days. Her allergist had suggested that she may have asthma a few weeks before, but we weren’t really sure what the symptoms looked liked in Olivia. We gave her medicine on Wednesday evening. Thursday, she progressively had a more difficult time breathing, requiring higher doses at lower intervals.

Finally, near 10 p.m. Thursday, she woke herself up coughing. We gave her the dose we had increased to and it didn’t work. Labored breathing, wheezing, coughing. We spoke to the on-call doctor at her pediatric allergist’s office. Time to move.

As a kid, I went to the ER a few times. In every case, we waited in the waiting room for sometime. I went to the military clinic, so there was not an urgent care option (at least back then), so the emergency room was the after-hour solution. It was always a wait. A long, long wait.

When you take a child into an ER complaining of difficulty breathing, let’s just say things are different:

Desk Person: “Hi, what can we do you for today?”
Me: “My daughter is having difficulty breathing. The on-call doc at her allergist told us to come to the ER.”
Triage Nurse (overhearing us, comes over from her station): “When did this begin? What medications has she been administered?”
Me: “This immediate set of issues began about 24 hours ago. She had been responding to albuterol via neb, but we’ve had to increase the dose to X and decrease the interval throughout the day to Y.”
Triage Nurse (listening to her chest): “She’s tight.” (To another person) “Take her back.”
Desk Person (handing me a pencil and a scrap of paper): “Her name and date of birth.”

And that was it. We were in a room.

Early into her hospital stay.

Early into her hospital stay.

Again, as a child in a military emergency room, I didn’t have a high set of expectations in terms of user experience for the ER. This experience has taught me that if you need to bring a child to the ER or hospital and there is a children’s hospital within a reasonable distance, go there. One of the pros of purchasing our house where we did is that you can see the children’s hospital from our upstairs landing.

As soon as they gave her a quick assessment and hooked her up to an oxygen monitor, her RN opened up a package of bubble solution and started playing with Olivia, blowing bubbles throughout the exam room. You could see the uncertainty in Olivia’s face wash away.

They began treating her and, while her oxygen levels were always okay, it took quite a bit to get her breathing under control. As we went longer into the night, the doctor prepared me that they would admit her if the next attempt didn’t get her back to where they wanted to see her.

Olivia did well, in the beginning, partly because I failed to bring any toys or books with us, so she got to play on “Daddy’s Exus” (known to us as a Nexus).

It was hard to see Olivia there. As her treatments in the ER had to intensify, so did the monitoring. With the levels of medication they were giving her, there was a concern about her heart rate increasing too much, so she was on an EKG and an automatically-monitored blood pressure unit. Her oxygen levels were still being monitored and something else that I can’t recall now.

Poor thing was exhausted.

Poor thing was exhausted.

The hardest part, though, was when she finally fell asleep around 4:30 a.m. She was on her breathing mask, all of the various monitoring tools were wired to her. Granted, I’d been up since 6 a.m. the previous morning, trying to stay awake in her darken room. I was tasked with ensuring the mask stayed on her face if she moved. It was hard to be alone watching your child try to sleep like that.

Finally, around 6:30 a.m., the call was made to admit her. It took a few more hours to actually get her over to a room, but by the time they did, she was actually doing okay and didn’t require the constant mask or the monitoring.

The hospital experience, after that, was actually enjoyable. She was still in too bad of shape to go home, but she was past the worst of it. They let us explore the hospital and we found one of the playrooms open to patients and siblings.

Dell 3rd Floor Playroom

The rest of the day progressed fine with slow, continual improvement. The call was made for one more night of observation since night time is the worst and she was showing displaying precursors to her last attack.

In the end, she improved and was released early afternoon on Saturday. In that time, I slept about six hours total, but she was happy, could breathe normally on a level of medication we could administer at home, and we were without the worry earlier in the week when this was an unknown, new thing for us.

Now, that Sunday night rolled around, I went back into a normal mode. Processed more e-mails that were skipped, checked out the project lists, todo lists, calendar and whatnot. Since I’m with the kiddos during the week, weekends are important times for my work schedule and this one was shot. I don’t care, though. Olivia is far, far, more important than anyone’s website or business, my own included.

The pro of being a freelancer in this situation is there was zero question on if I was taking the day off. The con, though, is next week won’t have any down time.

In the end, I can’t complain to have the work and and I can only celebrate having Olivia home.

On This Day, 15 Years Ago

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15 years.

For those who only know me from the interwebs and only care about either freelancing or web development, indulge me today. If you’d rather not read a personal story, feel free to move along. The next post will be on message, I promise. You can delete the e-mail now. No hard feelings.

15 years ago is etched into my memory. Exact times, voices, feelings will be forever present in my memory in a second’s thought. 15 years, when I was 12 years old, my father passed away. The tl;dr version is that he had a medical condition that slowly took him away from us, although at the time, I hadn’t the slightest clue it could take his life. I still struggle with the memories of the days before his death; what would be the last interactions I had with him. Those moments are truly the most regretful moments of my short life.

I don’t recall September 18th. He was in the hospital, which was no longer out of the ordinary. We had to take him to the emergency room on a somewhat regular basis. He’d spend 24, 36 or so hours in the hospital and we’d continue on again. Dad just needed a refill of blood again. No biggie.

September 19th, my mom woke me up around 1:30 a.m. The hospital had called at 1:24 a.m. We needed to get there. My mom was a wreck. She called my grandfather and siblings. Her nerves wouldn’t allow her to drive; my grandfather was coming to take us.

1:52 a.m. The phone rang again. We had only one phone; it looked more like a desk phone that belonged in an office than something on the “window sill” between the kitchen and living room. Mom answered it. Moments later, she slammed the phone on the table. She ran into the dining room, throwing herself to the ground and letting out a cry I’ve never heard in real life before or since. I picked up the phone—still off the hook—and spoke: “Yes?”

“Mr. Kraft has passed away.”

I said thank you to the nurse as I heard the call waiting click. What else would you say? My arms and legs went numb. My stomach dropped. Time to call my siblings. Time to find Mom.

At 1:48 a.m., everything in my world had changed.

I’m not sure how without coffee I managed to be awake for the next 24 hours, after only getting at most three hours of sleep before getting the call, but nevertheless, between the hospital, the funeral home, school (dropping off a paper I printed for a friend without a printer at home), random errands, and my sister’s house, it wasn’t until the morning hours of September 20th I was able to rest.

After all these years, I remember the conversations taking place as the family discussed the details of the obituary. I remember exactly where in the “casket showroom” was the one that I thought would be best and suggesting it to my mom. I remember finding an unused office in the funeral home with a phone. I would just call “the weather line”— 940-692-9999 for those who are curious what the temperature is in Wichita Falls at the moment—over and over again.

No one close to me had died before. My paternal grandmother had died years before, but I had only met her once and didn’t go to the funeral. There should be a manual of things to know if your first experience with death is with someone so close. Little things like the casket isn’t opened at the church. Folks were telling me to say goodbye at the funeral home, but I didn’t get it.

The Mass—my first Mass as far as I’m aware—had two moments that left a mark on me. It was held in the Parish Hall since the church itself was under renovation. They had placed some movable stairs at the front up to the stage, where the altar was located. The pallbearers placed the casket too close to the stairs so Fr. Koch had to slightly push the casket out of the way. Secondly, I remember the Our Father. I don’t know if I had ever paid attention to it being recite en masse before and the “s’es” stood out (“forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us”).

The 21-gun salute. The flag being presented to my mom.

The one positive highlight, if you will, was from showing around my aunts and uncles. My dad was the oldest of ten surviving kids and seven of them (if I recall correctly) were able to come down, mostly from South Dakota, for the funeral. They didn’t know what my dad did for the Air Force (after retirement, as a civilian, communications instructor), but they were curious. Just imagine this scene. Two black Suburbans completely full pull up to the gate of the Air Force Base. Little 12-year old Kraft in the first car’s passenger seat. When we stop at the sentry, I reach over to hand them my military ID. I explain that we’re going to head on base to visit my now-deceased father’s shop (“the shop” is what he called his office) and I was going to escort the occupants of this vehicle and the one behind us—his brothers and sisters—for the tour.

The sentry paused. Asked me if I knew where I was going. “Yes, sir.” I told them the building number. Were we expected? No, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be an issue.

After a second, he waved us through. My uncle (and Godfather) who was driving was impressed.

I digress. Last year’s post, specifically “Knowing exactly the pain of having a father you know and love taken away from you irrevocably far before you’re even mindful of the possibility, my greatest fear for Olivia, Catalina and our future family additions (should God so choose to bless us with more)[Eds. Note: #3 is due in less than a month.], is for them to experience that pain themselves.” still applies. This year, though, realizing that 15 years has passed and how crystal those moments still are is what has struck me.

Sadly, they are clearer to me than memories of him alive.

Return of the Kraft

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A little primer about me. Some time has passed since I’ve given tender loving care to the website and a number of readers have recently signed up to receive my daily (er, rather, daily-when-I-write-something) e-mail.

This blog is about a stay-at-home dad of two three girls who also runs a web development shop.

On the stay-at-home day side of the coin, there are challenges raising a family, tough decisions that have to be made all while going against the societal grain of the dad being at home. In the short time I’ve done this, I’ve seen a whole gambit: the folks who go overboard telling me how great it is that a dad is taking this role in his daughters’ lives, to being asked when I was going to get a job again, to trying to interact with all of the moms at the playground (preview: sometimes, it feels like a middle school dance), and so on.

On the web development side, I’ve built websites, in some form, since 1996. Currently, I focus on WordPress as a development platform and almost exclusively with the Genesis theme framework. I write here about the challenges of starting/running my small business, web development ideas, cool new things online and generally about the craft.

The intersection of the two lies in the balance. Seemingly, everyone needs a website. There is enough work to keep me busy 60 hours a week, but the primary responsibility is to the 168 hours a week job of bringing up the kiddos all while maintaining a healthy emotional and spiritual life, sanity and living a fulfilling marriage.

As you read these pages, ideally, the joy of both will be easy to see. Being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t have to remove you from the “adult” world and working for yourself doesn’t have to consume your being (my default).

As always, drop me a line anytime.

Busy Life

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Just a quick note to everyone about my comings and goings recently. I began working more purposefully on freelance web development and it has been a “built it and they will come” outcome. Much more work than I expected has come by way, to the point of having to simply turn down projects outside of my niche and schedule projects to begin months down the road. A great issue to have, but something I didn’t expect this early.

Additionally, I gave a talk at a recent WordCamp (a conference for the WordPress content management system) and been appointed to serve on a diocesan committee. More details on all of this soon. I’m still alive and breathing!

One Year Without Cable

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A year ago, we cut the cord. We struggled with this decision. We used cable as a crutch to help entertain Olivia when making dinner. We watched TV during any downtime and, with the DVR, we only watched shows we “wanted” to watch. Our first home, our condo, provided free cable through our HOA dues, so we took advantage of it.

One house later, the HOA didn’t cover the cost of cable and it is rather pricey. We were less than satisfied with the amount of TV we were watching, but if we decrease it, would our usage justify the price? With Catalina here and her uncovered medical bills arriving, we couldn’t justify it anymore.

Looking back a year and a few days, it was an awesome decision. We were given an Xbox 360 as a present and were impressed with the ESPN3 app. When our trial ended, we sprung $50 for an annual Xbox Gold account. Months later, we added on Netflix for $8/mo. The combo means we can watch a good amount of sports programming and entertainment programming for about ~$12/mo. That price makes sense.

I used to watch PBS as a kid. Sesame Street. Mr. Roger’s. Carmen Sandiego. With the Disney Channel, I forgot what free programming existed over-the-air. When we dropped cable, we started exploring KLRU, the local PBS station. We were impressed with what they had for kids of all ages. Personally, I discovered the subchannels. For those of us who had cable before the analog-digital transition, we were used to having a single channel for each station. With today’s digital technology, KLRU now has four different “subchannels” broadcasting. KLRU (the mothership on 18.1) is your normal PBS station, Create (18.2) is mostly (only?) do-it-yourself cooking/crafting/handyman shows. KLRU-Q, 18.3, has a great deal of adult PBS content and 18.4 is a Spanish channel that is much, much closer to PBS than what traditional Spanish television broadcasts. In other words, something I’ll let Olivia watch since I don’t have to worry about a random soccer highlight including the broadcaster surrounded by 30 bikini-clad women jumping around him.

The local channels are decent. Most of the shows we watch now were already on those networks. There are some nice things like a couple “weather” subchannels and one local station has actual music videos playing 24/7 on one of their subchannels (granted, the music is all about 20-years old). UT’s student television station that we’re close enough to campus to pick up including Bloomberg on one of it’s subchannel, so we have 24-hour news too.

Add on Netflix and ESPN3, we’re doing just fine. We miss the occasional UT football game on FX, Fox Sports Net, or LHN (who actually gets that one, though?), so it is a good reason to make plans with our cable-friendly friends/local establishments. Taking the leap to cut cable was more our own fear that we would miss something, which does happen, but doesn’t make the world stop spinning.

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